Pete Davidson is known for his self-deprecating humor and candidness, but in a new Peacock docuseries, SNL50: 

Beyond Saturday Night, he opened up about a moment of vulnerability early in his Saturday Night Live (SNL) career. 

In the first episode of the series, released on January 16, the comedian revealed that after his first season on the show, he seriously considered quitting.

Davidson, who joined the iconic sketch comedy show at just 20 years old during its 40th season in 2014, 

shared that he was unsure if he fit in with the established ensemble of comedic talents.

 “After my first year, I actually called for a meeting with Lorne and I was like, ‘Please fire me,’” Davidson admitted in the docuseries. 

He explained that he felt out of place and disconnected from his castmates, which led him to ask the show’s creator and executive producer, Lorne Michaels, to let him go.

Davidson recounted feeling like an outsider, expressing that, “I don’t belong here. Everybody here’s so talented, and they don’t want to be my friend.” In his characteristic comedic style, he jokingly described himself as acting like “a child,” saying, “I was like, ‘Nobody wants to be my friend.’”

However, Lorne Michaels’ response to Davidson’s request for dismissal was both straightforward and insightful. Michaels reassured him that these feelings of doubt were common for new cast members. “You don’t figure it out until your third or fourth year. … It’s just gonna suck for three or four years,” Michaels told Davidson. This advice turned out to be prophetic, as Davidson eventually found his place and flourished within the SNL family. “I was like, ‘All right,’ and he was right,” Davidson said.

Davidson went on to become one of the standout performers on SNL, eventually staying for eight seasons before announcing his departure in May 2022. His journey from uncertainty to success was a transformative experience, and in the SNL50: Beyond Saturday Night series, Davidson took a trip down memory lane by revisiting his audition footage. Watching himself, he remarked with humor, “How the f— did I get this show?” He reflected on his early audition, where he was unsure whether to pursue impressions or stand-up comedy. He joked that during the audition, only a few laughs came from the audience, leaving him doubtful about his chances. “There’s no way I’m getting it,” he recalled thinking at the time.

Despite his initial doubts, Davidson’s career at SNL took off, and he became a beloved cast member known for his quirky characters, standout sketches, and his popular appearances on Weekend Update. During his final Weekend Update segment in May 2022, Davidson expressed his gratitude to SNL, its cast, and particularly to Lorne Michaels. “Thank you to Lorne for never giving up on me or judging me even when everyone else was,” he said, acknowledging Michaels for allowing him to grow both personally and professionally during his time on the show.

Davidson also took a moment to reflect on the emotional toll of leaving the show that had been his home for nearly a decade. “This is a really tough job, but you go through all the emotions with these people. But you all love each other at the end of the day,” he shared. “So, this is a really difficult place to leave, but you don’t ever, really, truly leave.” He expressed pride in his time on SNL, saying, “I grew up here. I was like a kid when I came in. And I’ll always be proud, I’ll always be grateful and I’ll always miss it.”

Since his departure from the show, Davidson has continued to work on various projects, including his starring role in Bupkis and his hosting debut on SNL in the October 2023 season. His ongoing connection to SNL is evident, with his appearances and reflections on the show showing his deep appreciation for the opportunity that helped launch his career.

Saturday Night Live returns with host Dave Chappelle on January 18 and Timothée Chalamet on January 25. Fans can also look forward to the 50th-season anniversary special, airing on February 16 at 8 p.m. ET on NBC and Peacock, where highlights from the show’s five-decade run will be celebrated.

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